I took my son to his first rollerblading lesson last week and witnessed a roller coaster of emotions during that one hour.
We got off to a great start and he was excited and eager to learn. He was clumsy and wobbly at the beginning of the lesson, so he started being goofy and exaggerated his falls. Thankfully the falls were all skillfully caught by his rollerblading coach. I realised that being goofy was his coping mechanism – to laugh at himself and to seem deliberate in making the “mistakes”.
More than halfway through, I can tell he was getting tired. But I’m not sure if he was tired physically or of falling. His goofiness and laughter seemed to have become a cover for his exasperation and I could see the helplessness in his eyes as he tried to stay positive. I’m sure that if I stepped in and asked if he was okay, he would burst out crying.
A break from the lesson came, he sat down, looked at me, and asked if he could go home. We were just 10 mins until the end of the lesson. I could stop the lesson and bring him home or I could try to push his boundaries. As a mother, it took quite an effort to look beyond his obvious needs in front of me and dig deep into potential learnings instead. I’m glad to share that I didn’t give up and so he didn’t!
That episode felt familiar. When I felt like giving up before, I too have the tendency to ask someone I trust about the potential decision I was about to make. Asking someone for the permission perhaps made the decision seemed more liveable for ourselves. Or perhaps asking someone to ‘partake’ in the decision made ourselves feel less liable for the consequences.
At the end of the hour, I can almost relate to his feeling of relief. He brightened up in an instant and even had some energy to do a little dance – a little celebration for completing his first lesson! I’m sure he wouldn’t dance the same way if I decided to cut the lesson short and take him home.
Reflections
I thought it would be helpful to also list some learning questions that came to my mind, I hope they are helpful to anyone reading this. Here goes:
- When was the last time I tried something new?
- How does it feel to master a new skill?
- What’s the best reward for you when you complete a task/project?
Begin Being 
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